i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
