I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
