i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
