lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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