I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
