absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I will pee on everything he values.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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