you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
