would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
