I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
