a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
