I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
