you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
