Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize