Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
