it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My vagina is very pro this idea
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
