dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
