Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
