Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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