Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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