This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
