What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
