You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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