I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
