i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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