Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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