Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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