how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
