Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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