y did u give ur computer a hand job?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
