I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
