yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize