how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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