3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We need to get me chipped asap
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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