is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
