I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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