remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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