so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
