mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
