you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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