weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
