I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
