Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
