i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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