i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
