youre lurking in front of me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
