Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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