dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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