I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize