super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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