when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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