you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
