remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
