My nipple is on Facebook.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
