all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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